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A few of the fight scenes are all right, and the cast is crazy. Still, after a reasonable first 15 minutes, it loses its pace and becomes kind of a drag.

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Mercenary for Justice! The rest of the film is a slightly wobbly thriller, which struggles with too many characters and not enough story. The film is most memorable for a restroom ruckus that finds Seagal dispensing a brilliantly berserk bathroom bastard bludgeoning. Steven Seagal IS Matt, a former cop turned degenerate gambler. But as he digs deeper, Matt starts to question who the real villain is. This is a fun one. We get some of his more involved fight scenes and he charms a little in the role, too. The character is a little different from the usual Seagal character, in that he has flaws.

As a result we get to see Seagal seduce someone, which he does with expected expertise, and it warmed both my heart and my loins. Cole is a mysterious police Lieutenant on the case of The Family Man, a snot-gobbed serial killer murdering entire families and doing weird Jesus stuff with the corpses.

Dumb move if you ask me, or have read any of the previous entries on this list. The last thing you want to do is antagonise The Glimmer Man. Still, the odd scenes that do work are a pleasure to watch. Seagal fucks off the laws of physics with a smashing window jump inside the first ten minutes, forgets what race he is in the first fifteen and arrogantly points out breast implants on a corpse in the first twenty.

Steven Seagal IS Dr. Wesley McClaren. Wesley is a small town doctor, raising his daughter on a farm and helping the locals with their ailments. Unfortunately for Wesley, his peaceful life is interrupted by a local militia intent on using an engineered virus to make some vague point about the decline of America. The Patriot! This one is notable for a flip through a window, Seagal in a lab coat, Seagal as a cowboy and Seagal nursing a Shetland pony back to health. Ruslan will find out who is responsible for the attempted hit on his daughter; they started his engine, now he is Driven to Kill!

Slow to start, silly and simple? All accusations you could fairly make against Driven to Kill. So why is it here? Unlikely to win him any new fans, Seagal enthusiasts will find much to enjoy. Steven Seagal IS Simon Ballister, a heartbroken father investigating the murder of his policeman son. He soon learns that the crime was not the senseless gang slaying that the police had suggested.

Renegade Justice! The film is well acted, well-paced and, save for a few shoddy looking sequences, well photographed. Eddie Griffin surprised me with a really entertaining turn as an ambitious gang leader. Seagal, too, puts in one of his strongest performances. Renegade Justice gets bonus points for a brief cameo that reunites Seagal on screen with Dangerous Danny Trejo!

Goodness me. Steven Seagal IS Sasha. Arrested while hanging out with Ja Rule who opens fire on the FBI, unprovoked, because that was the mood of the room at the time , Sasha finds himself imprisoned in a new super-jail on Alcatraz. Half Past Dead. Ja Rule makes for an interesting sidekick, offering at times a trigger happy nuisance and, at others, a damsel in distress. What should be a simple procedure turns into a violent nightmare when a heavily armed team of shart merchants attack, intent on taking one of the remaining prisoners due to valuable information she has.

Maximum Conviction. Unspectacular, but fine. With a decent cast of characters, and Austin taking co-headline, the big S is freed up to do what he does best; swagger around delivering cool guy lines and twisting the bad guys into shapes that contradict the design of the human skeleton. It brings in a load of characters, shuts them in an enclosed space and lets them get on with pummeling and shooting each other to death. Every character gets a chance to prove how deadly they are, and most do so with enthusiasm.

Steven Seagal IS Jacob, a detective who plays by his own incredibly violent rules and gets results. Jacob is after The Grifter, a serial killer and total twat. The Grifter sets Jacob up, framing him for the murders and effectively flipping his Kill Switch! The killer grabs a screwdriver, which is meant to threaten Seagal. Unfortunately, aggressively raising a screwdriver to Steven Seagal is how you challenge him to a tool fight, and Steven Seagal loves tool fights. What is this leading up to?

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Travis quickly works out that the murder was an attempt to draw attention away from the efforts of the Yakuza and the Tongs, who are setting up an operation to smuggle heroin out of Myanmar. Into the Sun. The Japanese mobsters in this film are unhinged, shooting everyone who dares to encroach on their screen time. The last 30 minutes in particular find Seagal in full on rampage mode. His Aikido style of fighting often sees him flinging people into furniture and other breakable things. Here, he utilises his villain-chucking abilities in an arcade and by sending a bastard through an 8th floor window.

Beneath a land of wealth and beauty hides a secret that could kill millions. Undercover has never run so deep. Steven Seagal IS Jack Taggart, a missionary visiting a small town to help out, doing odd jobs on behalf of the Church. When Jack finds his good deeds met with glares and suspicion, he knows that something is up. Sure enough, he finds that the local mines are being used by a large company to dump toxic waste. Fortunately for the environment, Jack is actually working undercover for the EPA and will stop at nothing to protect the land from greedy corporate colon clouds.

Seagal teams up with a former partner-turned-monk and goes on a fighting spree in an effort to rescue her. Along the way he is helped by a collective of monks, who chant away the damage done to Seagal by a nutcase with a voodoo doll, and encounters a woman who can magically summon a tattoo onto her exposed breasts. The story is typical of Seagal films, and especially so of his direct to video efforts, but is brought to life by utter lunacy. A top secret nuclear satellite. A team of international terrorists. A government held hostage. An undetectable moving headquarters.

Only one hero stands in their way. What terrible luck! Ryback is right back! In one scene, someone watches Seagal build a bomb from things he finds in a bar and the only ingredient they question is lighter fluid. Brief aside; this film features an awesome fire stunt. My favourite element of the film crops up around the middle; Seagal steals a vital CD and the films villain learns an important lesson about backing up your data.

In fact, technology plays a key role here, with Seagal also utilising a fax machine to send for help. Fortunately, he finds it presents similar challenges as his life as a chef, in that it seems to involve fighting murderers on a form of transport. Richie is a reckless, unhinged psycho who has angered his mob bosses as much as he has Gino. As Gino chases down this rotten-breathed diarrhoea-chugger he uncovers secrets and shatters bodies. Bad guys seem to queuing up to stand in his way.

Then, someone involved in the production presumably called a meeting to decry the lack of milling about and chatting featured on screen. So we get 35 minutes of that, before a delightfully splatterful finale.

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The killer shoots a cop in the middle of a crowded street in broad daylight, before spitting his DNA all over the crime scene. Then he just swaggers away, looking exactly like the easily identifiable William Forsythe. Forsythe puts in a great turn in Out for Justice and is a disturbingly believable bad guy. His accent may not be exactly right, but he does speak some Italian in this one ladies, please try to control yourselves.

Particularly your groins. Also, this film sees him teamed up with the perfect sidekick: an adorable puppy. My goodness, the pool hall scene. He trashes the bar, goes on a snooker ball rampage, knocking out teeth, and engages in a pool cue duel that serves as a wonderful reminder that Seagal is a legitimately skilled martial artist and fight stunt performer. Battleship besieged by terrorists. Nuclear warheads stolen. Crew helpless. Lone man fighting to save the ship…. Ryback is the chef on a battleship. None of the executives returned calls seeking comment on Near North or Segal.

What followed was a series of short-lived agreements to sell the brokerage, which would seemingly be an attractive investment, considering the high-caliber clients Segal had acquired in 30 years of Windy City politicking and operating.

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Frontenac President Rodney L. Goldstein, an old friend of Near North President William Bartholomay, did not return a call seeking comment on why the deal fell through. More on that later. He too could not be reached to further explain the decision. Ultimately, it would take the permanent loan of Near North employees to convince another Chicago brokerage, Mesirow Insurance Services Inc.

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District Court of Northern Illinois by crusading U. Attorney Pat Fitzgerald. The indictment alleges that Segal embezzled the Near North money by running it through a bogus postal stamp account. Title 50, Part External audits in and revealed the severe shortfalls, but Segal refused to take any action, according to the government. For his part, Segal has explained the missing funds as a computer mix-up. During the period of the s, Segal told me Near North used the Sagitta system as well as Applied Systems, both of which are very reputable.

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According to the government, Segal not only misused the PFTA by using funds as an operating account, but he allowed many customers to carry credit balances, which is illegal under Illinois law. At the end of each year, the government alleges, Segal would order his department heads to put together a list of customers with credit balances — that is, who were owed money by Near North, money they should not have been owed for that long at time to begin with.

Segal would then go through the list, picking and choosing which customers would be paid. Insiders tip off feds So how did the feds get the goods on Segal? The three confidential informants the government relies on are former Near North employees, who got much of their documentary evidence from another man, David Cheley. An Aon spokesman said Ryan refuses to respond to any allegations made by Segal. A constitutional question I asked Segal if, given the evidence, he would be satisfied if he were found guilty, but the employees who stole company documents were in turn prosecuted for their crimes.

But in fact, it is perfectly constitutional for the government to use evidence that was stolen by private parties, so long as the government took no direct part in it, according to UCLA law professor Eugene Volokh. For example, a computer hacker breaks into a computer, finds child porn and then turns it over to the police anonymously. However, if the government initiates the illegal private search, then there would be a constitutional problem, according to Volokh.

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Sure would be nice if we had some information about it. And of course there are some gray areas in between. If they can prove the government was not only aware of but actively encouraged illegal private searches to further its case, they may be able to have the evidence suppressed.